Learning to Connect is:
Having a conversation with people, not performing in front of them.
Giving an audience what it wants instead of guessing.
Feeling relaxed and generous instead of worrying about survival.
True success at speaking and performing in public!
Speak Deeply
Speaking in public means having a conversation with people, not performing in front of them.
From answering “what you do for a living?”, to reporting in for a team, to doing a TED Talk, it’s all conversation.
So let’s list what makes a good conversation: connection.
Kind of a short list.
Sure, you’d like to inform and be informed, entertain and be entertained, to forget about yourself for a minute.
But if you aren’t feeling seen, heard, and valued, the conversation isn’t going there.
Listening will just be waiting to speak, speaking won’t feel good in your body, and folks will hurry for the exits. They didn’t get what they came for: connection.
So, how do we get it?
We’ll have to care about one another, to trust one another.
And since you, the speaker, are leading things, you will have to care, and trust, first.
How?
We start with them. With your audience of any size:
- Who are they?
- What do they want?
- Which of your gifts are most valuable to them?
- How would they like to be treated, honored?
- Celebrated, informed, entertained?
Do your research. Ask people about them. Talk to a few of them beforehand, if possible.
All of this shows care.
So does preparation. Know your stuff.
If there are vocal or physical issues, we work to resolve them: you want to make it easy for us to spend time with you. We see and hear that you are relaxed, so we relax.
You’ve got to have a good script. We start with a hierarchy of gifts and finish by making sure it all sounds and feels like you.
You will never be sorry you overprepared.
It lets you conduct a conversation.
Finally we demonstrate trust, that you trust this audience.
The most successful TED Talks of all time are around 70% emotional appeal and personal story, not facts and credentials. Why? Personal story demonstrates trust. You are revealing something vulnerable about yourself, trusting that we won’t hurt you. When that happens, we are wired to help, not hurt. To connect.
Also, one huge fact: audiences WANT you to succeed.
This is because they want to be in that storytelling loop with you.
MRI-scans and our own experiences bear this out.
To sum it all up…
Show that you care about them, trust them, and know your stuff.
And you will go from stage-fright to having a beautiful conversation, from isolation to connection.
Which is what everybody wants.
And you get to give it to them.
And to yourself.
Testimonials